| Found on Craig's Missed Connections |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|08:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
Pure gold, copy-pasta from someone who copy-pasta'd someone else:
Whether you're gay or straight, read this from NYC MCs:
Re: Don’t miss a connection with me (From the OP) - w4w
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After reading the emails sent in response to my post, I would like to make a few points.
1. The people yelling at me over the Lindsay Lohan thing: That was a joke. As usual, it got taken out of context. Lindsay Lohan, BTW, if you’re reading this, I think you’re a total bitch. Stop your scoffing and admit you’re a big muffdiver already, or at least bi, as in “bi-atch.” Your girlfriend, DJ Shitfaced, is also a douche. You are hot, though.
2. The people calling me “shallow”: The only reason you want to approach me is because you think I’m hot and wait … That makes you what? Someone who isn’t shallow? There are plenty of average to unattractive lesbians who would be thrilled to be approached by any number of you. Yet you still come here to post an MC every time you see some hot girl on the train, at Henriettas, in the library, twirling her hair in Starbucks, etc. “You were the girl on the F train at 7:53 AM with blonde curls spilling over ivory shoulders and pulpy red lips. I kept imagining what your face would look like after your nineteenth orgasm.” Hello – shallow! Who the hell wants to see that written about them anyway? Another of my favorites: “YOU WAS THE HOT AG / STUD ON DA A TRAIN YOU GOT OFF AT JAY STREET DAMN YOU IS SEXY EMAIL ME SO WE CAN HAVE SEX.” I have one word for you: Please.
3. Lesbians use this forum to meet each other. Half of them see a girl in a lesbian bar and instead of approaching her there – knowing she’s gay – go home to their computers to post here. If I’m at a lesbian venue, it’s because I want to meet lesbians in person. If I wanted to meet someone on the Internet, I would go on match.com or some other thing. I wouldn’t come on here. Though I do come on here just to read, I wouldn’t respond to a post unless it was a real miss connection.
4. A real missed connection is when I’m at a bar talking to a girl and we’re hitting it off. As we’re exchanging numbers, a fire breaks loose or a bomb goes off and we’re forced to evacuate. So I never got her number. That and any like circumstance is the only circumstance over which writing an MC to someone is totally justified without sounding like a stalker or someone who is a chicken shit.
5. Yeah, I know it’s scary to approach women in public. It’s sad that we live in a society that encourages men to act like predators, e.g., “Nice guys, get laid in 20 minutes or less, 10 steps to picking up women,” but when a gay person just wants to say hello he / she gets linched. In reality though, I think most straight women would be flattered, but I suppose if you’re a big bull dyke who approaches a woman who turns out to be straight you’re setting yourself up for a backlash. Then again, it’s not like half the lesbians in our community don’t walk around screaming, “IF I WANTED A MAN, I’D DATE A MAN.” Bi-atch. If I wanted to date someone with your sexist attitude I’d date a man, too.
6. Most of the women I’ve dated haven’t been what I would call stereotypically “hot.” I dated them because they were cool people who I got along with and because they weren’t afraid to talk to me. I’ve been approached a bunch of times by women in bars and I was always nice to them, even the ones who I wasn’t attracted to. I never blew them off or hurt their feelings. Sometimes I even danced with them, said I had a nice time and gave them a hug or got their number and tried to be friends. Of course, they always get angry when you don’t want to be more than friends, and then go around spreading rumors about what an asshole you are and before you know it you’re like this serial killer who can’t even leave the house without getting a dirty look from the mailman or the neighbor’s dog. But that’s people for you.
7. I myself have approached and been rejected by women. It happens to people all the time. That’s life.
8. Yes, I do read this forum almost every day. What else am I going to do? Sit in the park and wait for one of you to talk to me? Whenever I see a lesbian in public and smile at her, she looks at me like a deer in headlights and disappears behind a wall or dives behind a bush or something. Lesbians are so afraid of each other it’s ridiculous. We treat each other the same way society treats us. Anyway, these posts are entertaining, at least, which is the only reason most of us read them; that and the fact that it reminds us there are other women who feel the way we do.
9. The girl who called me an A$$: Yes, I am an ass. Thank you. That said, maybe you should stop talking about how unattractive you think you are and how no one wants you. If you stopped for two seconds to think about it, there are probably a lot of women who would want you if you just showed them some interest instead of hightailing it to the wind every time you see a pretty face. Look at Rod Stewart. Ugliest man on the planet: has a hot wife. Rosie O’Donald: more rolls than a Jewish bakery. Hot wife. Another example would be Samantha Ronson, though she’s looking a lot better since she cut her hair. She needs to lose the platinum gold high tops though.
10. Yeah, this was really long and mean. I usually work early, but it’s my day off and I just woke up like an hour ago. Though, I will soon be headed for Union Square. Look for the hot dykey girl listening to her iPod on the 4 train who gets off at 14th street and be sure to post a missed connection about her instead of talking to her in person, and also be sure to include how much you want to throw me down and have your way with me in the dirt, which will increase your chances of getting a response exponentially.
11. Point 10 was total sarcasm. But if you do see me and want to make a real connection, here is something you can do: Say “Hello.” Tell me you like my jeans. Ask me what stop to get off at to get to X Street. Pretend to faint. I don’t care. Just open your mouth and say something for fucks sake.
12. I’m really not as mean as this probably makes me sound, but that’s OK. Angry responses are expected. After all, this was an angry response, wasn’t it?
See you on the train, bitches!
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(Lord, why does she have to be a dyke? Why?) |
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amused
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